U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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