he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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