"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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