she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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