these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
