I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize