this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
