I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
