Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
