everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
