We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
