you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
