Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize