The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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