Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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