Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
