I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
