She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
