Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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