I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
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I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
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Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize