why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
