she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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