Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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