I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Say something about gay babies.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we're making bets on your personal life
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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