Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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