Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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