insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
