Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
