Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
