talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We're too hungover to prance.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
