i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
