You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
