I must be too annoying 4 u.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
