I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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