I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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