apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
