One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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