I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
