I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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