what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Found the puke drawer
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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