and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
