This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
