i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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