the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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