Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize