I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
im holly from the hills drunk
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
