It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
