you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
