hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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