i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
