ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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