Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
