what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
