As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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