I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
