their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
