The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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