Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
