I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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