I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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