Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
