So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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