Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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