I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize