No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
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Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
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For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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