How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Randomize
